Saturday, April 18, 2009

Things I Can't Friggin' Believe IV

Here is number four in my random series of things I can't friggin believe in the world of pop culture, the market, the economy, politics and whatever else grabs me on a laid back Saturday.

That Ashton Kutcher has one million twitter followers, that's about 999,970 more people that saw him in The Butterfly Effect.

That we now have more Czars than Russia did.

That dictator groupie Obama is bowing to the Saudis, high five-ing Chavez, sending videos to Achmidinjahd and having shits and giggles with Castro.

That GM thinks they have a chance.

That we release our interrogation strategies to the world but are consumed with worry about how we will sugar coat the stress test results to the public.

That Donald Trump is always Forbes 100 but seems to go bankrupt every five minutes.

That NY Mets owner Fred Wilpon supposedly lost $500 million in the Madoff scam and has Citigroup as his main sponsor. Ouch

That Janet Nepolitano, Sheila Baer and Janet Reno don't have their own reality show called "Dem Babes and Our Fashion Secrets"

That Keith Olberman exists.

That IYR and the commercial real estate sector are trading like they cured cancer.

That Dendreon is because they are.

That Cramer continues to lie like a rug to the American people.

That CNBC ( Crappy Nonsense By Charlatans) has snooked the folks for 20 years. Congrats. We have Internet now, why do we need them?

That Donny Deutcsh gets another shot, same crap, different name-you too can make a million with a water proof egg timer. When you build, not inherit, I'll listen. Arrogant schmuckweed.

That Jeff Zucker at NBC lost $45 million on the second most watched Super Bowl in history. This guy would screw up breathing.

That I haven't egged Ruth Madoff's house yet.

That John Mayer and Al Franken still exist.

That anyone believes China's numbers.

That Hyman Roth and Michael Corleone really are in Cuba now, but Roth is saying to Michael, " we will be bigger than Stocktwits," not U.S Steel.

That Israel hasn't bombed Iran yet.

That FSLR hasn't broken $50 yet.

That American Express is paying us to rip up our cards, but their stock has doubled, last I checked, that's their business.

That Aubrey McClendan isn't on wth Cramer anymore.

That Aubrey McClendon served me my Whopper today.

That Ivan Boesky and Micheal Milken look like choir boys compared to the new breed of grifter.

That Aubrey McClendon squeegied my windshield today.

That Joe Terranova gets face time--even on the street.

That Botany 500 hasn't sued Joe Terranova for giving bad cloths an even worse name.

That some financial pundits wear shoulder pads and pony tails on TV.

That Dylan Radigan didn't leave CNBC sooner.

That Hufington and Howard Dean are now considered the smart mony on CNBC, booyah.

That my President has apologized for my father's arrogance in WW2.


Later,

Upside

10 comments:

Chadwick said...

A very interesting read from the international wires:

How a Stolen Bank Costs You Money

*** Violet Day, UPI, 17 April, 2009 ***

With foreclosures at an all time high, unemployment at records levels, and the dollar competing with the "loonie" of all things, it's no wonder more and more people are questioning not only the stability but the sanity of the US government. The casualness with which the government is spending trillions (yes trillions) of tax payer dollars certainly isn't helping the situation. If you are tired of your tax money going to frivolous waste and out of control spending, bad news is on the horizon: you may be cutting another very large check in the near future!

On September 25, 2008 Washington Mutual Bank was seized by the FDIC for reasons of "instability." Within hours, the bank was sold to JP Morgan Chase for the sum of $1.9 billion. At the time of the sale, not only was Washington Mutual among the largest banks in the country, but it enjoyed tremendous name recognition and a banking network estimated at over 2,000 branches and close to 5,000 ATMs. Most analysts agree that $1.9B is not even close to fair compensation for a banking network so well entrenched and almost 120 years in the making. If those figures weren't troubling enough, proponents of Washington Mutual assert the bank had close to $307B in assets at the time of the seizure, was considered "adequately capitalized" by the FDIC's own standards, had access to a $50B credit line with the FDIC, and had around $4B in cash assets! In fact, Washington Mutual is so adamant that an injustice has been performed that they have sued the FDIC seeking damages in the neighborhood of $40B. If in fact Washington Mutual is awarded damages for the FDIC's "communistic actions" and "gross negligence," you can guess who is picking up the tab . . .

Only time will tell if Washington Mutual's lawsuit will stand up in court, but the preliminary evidence looks strongly in Washington Mutual's favor. Even the greatest spin doctor attorneys will have difficulty explaining to a jury the selling of $4B for $1.9B; and yes, WAMU has requested a jury trial. In addition to WAMU's other (disputable) assets, the law firm representing Washington Mutual (Weil/Gotshal) is surely to bring up the fact the JP Morgan offered $8 per share in April to acquire Washington Mutual, a deal which WAMU rejected. Thousands lost jobs, tens of thousands lost life savings and retirements; it seems almost tailor made for a jury trial. The TARP program being released only 4 days after the seizure was purely a coincidence . . . wasn't it? Has it been mentioned that the media and the federal government have been eerily silent on this entire topic? Confidence boosters for financial stability? Definitely not.

Regardless of the outcome of the case, the end result of the suit is the continued deterioration of confidence in the US banking system, the Office of Thrift Supervision, the FDIC, and the Obama administration and their inability to provide any of the real "change" US citizens were promised. If Washington Mutual gets the "change" they are seeking, and most probably deserve, get ready to take out your checkbook.

At time of publication neither the FDIC nor Weil/Gotshal had returned a call for comment. Representatives for Washington Mutual shareholders can be found at www.wamurape.org.

Astaxanthin said...

Word!!!

Shaishen said...

Fantastic, I am still otflmao. You out-did yourself :))

sloperaly said...

In another life I may have wished I could be your brain and instead get to read about it. This was too much fun, thanks for this. I have your blog from my desktop so I can poke in and get fun stuff to repeat like this line: 'That we release our interrogation strategies to the world but are consumed with worry about how we will sugar coat the stress test results to the public.'

I can add one of my own. ' I can't believe Donald Trump is not irrelevant yet'... dunno why but I truly dislike the man and I can usually find good in people. ;)

upsidetrader said...

sloperaly,
lol thx and i love the Trump comment-r u on twitter yet?

Mike said...

Fantastic! That post should be syndicated!

MarshalN said...

LOL @ Dem Babes comment :)

TenYear said...

I have one to add:

That Obama wasn't a policeman at one time in is career.

eurobird said...

Still laughing, just posted your site to my twitter friends!!

keoni said...

Agree with every single observation. It is maddening!

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I am a former hedge fund manager, broker and capital markets dude who now trades for his own account. I love what I do. I will try to post some stocks and an occasional chart that looks attractive for entry.I will also try to point out the idiocy of conventional wisdom and the lack of value added by the mainstream financial media. These postings should not be viewed as recommendations.